Blog Vacation
Monday, July 28, 2008 7:05 AM
Pardon me, i have not been updating my blog. Not that life is not interesting... just that, there is so much that i don't even know what to and how to pen them down..
But today, i have so much emotions in me, i somehow have the idea what i should blog about...
First on friendship.
Friendship, the bonding between people who can connect, who can go through thick and thin, people who are willing to share their happiness and sorrows together.
A true friend most probably will be like a piece of rock, sometimes, it might seem insignificant, seem to be hard on you, but they are sturdy, and they are always there, unless you move away from it.
They might hit you hard and injure u sometimes, but after getting injured, u will always learn something new, u will understand each other better, you will realise, thats why you are my friend, thats what makes you my friend.
My friendship might not always be smooth sailing, there might be misuderstanding, but i am always happy to know, after each storm, we the girls, move on stronger together on a tighter bond. I am glad, we stood through the test.
Now on life.
I believe i need to stop running away, and face up to my emotions and whats within me. Am i happy? truly happy? thats what shirgin baby asked me. I am not always happy. But i am generally happier compared to what i used to be. And i am happier now, that i have found the man who can understand, who can accept and who makes me wanna be tamed down, makes me want to agree to whatever he say, makes me feel for him, makes me want to be at my best for him always cause to me, thats what he deserve. It might seem silly, but why give so much to a man whom i barely know for 1 month plus you might ask, but, he is worth it.
He shares my sorrows, my happiness, my burdens, my worries, my dreams, my everything.
He knows how to make me smile, when i am down,he gives me a helping hand when i fall.
A boyfriend, a best friend, a soulmate, a husband that i want. He gives me nothing but the best. He spends whatever time he could with me. He makes me feel like, " hey, i am so lucky to have him and be loved by him."
I wasnt truly happy in the past, maybe because, there is always this aloof exterior i carry so as not to be hurt by others. Becuase i need to protect myself, my family. I have a responsibility that i cant run away. A responsibility given to me 7 years ago, on the 11th march. But though i am tired, i have no choice but to continue on with this responsibility.
But with boyfriend now, i seem to have found someone, whom i could seek advice from, someone who will help me with whatever that might comes. How can i live without him? Maybe i can, but if i can, i dont ever want to be without him.
To my dearest boy who is in Korea now...
The parting this morning, i kept the tears away, i don't want you to worry, but after knowing you have flown off, i cant help but worry, the anxiety of not able to contact you, the constant hopes to have u reaching seoul safely. And when i lost my way to school, for the first time, i lost my way... not really lost, but lost in heart, cause i missed the stops, the tears cant help but dropped, cause i felt so alone for the first time in years. I felt like i don't know what what to do, i just want to cry and wait for you to come hug me and assure me its fine, you are here.
Its weird, i have never ever felt this way, this parting for just less than 40 hours, makes me know, and understand, i need you, want you, and u are not someone whom i can live with, you are someone i cant live without. its not just a wanting to be near you, its a need to have you. I told dawn, i felt a piece of me missing, because, its with you. And i can only feel complete, once i have your hug again.
The hug we have before you went into the departure hall, its a hug that i have given with wishes of safety, well being, a hug that symbolises how much i cant bear to be away from you, even if it is just for awhile. I am waiting for you to hug me again when you return, which is like in less than 30 hours..
I kept myself occupied by playing with the game console you bought, by talking to you on msn though u are not infront of the screen of your laptop at home... reading through the sms, pretending that you are talking to me. It makes me feel better. I just don't want to live without your presence in my life.
Wherever i go, whenever the phone rings, i always thought it was you, calling. Thats how much i miss you. When you finally called, my heart felt so much lighter. i cant help but smile. My boy has reach his destination safely! and when you said you miss me, i just want to cry, cause i missed you too!
Today i spend my day, thinking of whatever you have said to me before, whatever thing we have done before. Its all nice and warm and fuzzy in my heart.
I am silly,but this silly me, knows i have made a right choice being with you. You made everything falls in place nicely. I love you more and more each seconds.
Sarang Heyo. I love you.
Here is the promise to you for you to read when you are back, I'll always be here for you. I promise.
But today, i have so much emotions in me, i somehow have the idea what i should blog about...
First on friendship.
Friendship, the bonding between people who can connect, who can go through thick and thin, people who are willing to share their happiness and sorrows together.
A true friend most probably will be like a piece of rock, sometimes, it might seem insignificant, seem to be hard on you, but they are sturdy, and they are always there, unless you move away from it.
They might hit you hard and injure u sometimes, but after getting injured, u will always learn something new, u will understand each other better, you will realise, thats why you are my friend, thats what makes you my friend.
My friendship might not always be smooth sailing, there might be misuderstanding, but i am always happy to know, after each storm, we the girls, move on stronger together on a tighter bond. I am glad, we stood through the test.
Now on life.
I believe i need to stop running away, and face up to my emotions and whats within me. Am i happy? truly happy? thats what shirgin baby asked me. I am not always happy. But i am generally happier compared to what i used to be. And i am happier now, that i have found the man who can understand, who can accept and who makes me wanna be tamed down, makes me want to agree to whatever he say, makes me feel for him, makes me want to be at my best for him always cause to me, thats what he deserve. It might seem silly, but why give so much to a man whom i barely know for 1 month plus you might ask, but, he is worth it.
He shares my sorrows, my happiness, my burdens, my worries, my dreams, my everything.
He knows how to make me smile, when i am down,he gives me a helping hand when i fall.
A boyfriend, a best friend, a soulmate, a husband that i want. He gives me nothing but the best. He spends whatever time he could with me. He makes me feel like, " hey, i am so lucky to have him and be loved by him."
I wasnt truly happy in the past, maybe because, there is always this aloof exterior i carry so as not to be hurt by others. Becuase i need to protect myself, my family. I have a responsibility that i cant run away. A responsibility given to me 7 years ago, on the 11th march. But though i am tired, i have no choice but to continue on with this responsibility.
But with boyfriend now, i seem to have found someone, whom i could seek advice from, someone who will help me with whatever that might comes. How can i live without him? Maybe i can, but if i can, i dont ever want to be without him.
To my dearest boy who is in Korea now...
The parting this morning, i kept the tears away, i don't want you to worry, but after knowing you have flown off, i cant help but worry, the anxiety of not able to contact you, the constant hopes to have u reaching seoul safely. And when i lost my way to school, for the first time, i lost my way... not really lost, but lost in heart, cause i missed the stops, the tears cant help but dropped, cause i felt so alone for the first time in years. I felt like i don't know what what to do, i just want to cry and wait for you to come hug me and assure me its fine, you are here.
Its weird, i have never ever felt this way, this parting for just less than 40 hours, makes me know, and understand, i need you, want you, and u are not someone whom i can live with, you are someone i cant live without. its not just a wanting to be near you, its a need to have you. I told dawn, i felt a piece of me missing, because, its with you. And i can only feel complete, once i have your hug again.
The hug we have before you went into the departure hall, its a hug that i have given with wishes of safety, well being, a hug that symbolises how much i cant bear to be away from you, even if it is just for awhile. I am waiting for you to hug me again when you return, which is like in less than 30 hours..
I kept myself occupied by playing with the game console you bought, by talking to you on msn though u are not infront of the screen of your laptop at home... reading through the sms, pretending that you are talking to me. It makes me feel better. I just don't want to live without your presence in my life.
Wherever i go, whenever the phone rings, i always thought it was you, calling. Thats how much i miss you. When you finally called, my heart felt so much lighter. i cant help but smile. My boy has reach his destination safely! and when you said you miss me, i just want to cry, cause i missed you too!
Today i spend my day, thinking of whatever you have said to me before, whatever thing we have done before. Its all nice and warm and fuzzy in my heart.
I am silly,but this silly me, knows i have made a right choice being with you. You made everything falls in place nicely. I love you more and more each seconds.
Sarang Heyo. I love you.
Here is the promise to you for you to read when you are back, I'll always be here for you. I promise.
