Its
EMO time again where its late in the night, i can't sleep, but start to think about a lot of things, time where i start to get philosophical* subjected to own opinion* where i tend to have this urge to blog about a lot alot of things.
Looking back, what kind of person i have been? Have i been a dutiful daughter? Have i been a caring sister to my only sister? Have i been a loyal friend?Have i been a loving girlfriend?
Honestly, i think i have failed. for all the above.
People who are close enough, would know, my dad had left 7 years ago, leaving my mum to support me and my sister. Many a times, i know how hard it is for her, a woman, to fend for herself and her kids. I know how sad she must have felt, having to go through all this alone, with no one that she could lean on.
I haven told my mum: "i love you." I didn't cover the household chores completely for her. I didn't show alot of concern for her. I didn't let her know, i love her more than anyone in this world and i thank her for everything she had done for me.
I am going to do so now, by writing a note to tell her! Too shy to say so. Thats the problem with the traditional chinese family, we are not used to showing affection openly. Many traditional chinese from the older generation, often expressed their love and concern through naggings and scoldings.
Enough about how a daughter i am... Have you, the friends or people reading this, shown enough care, concern and love to the mum or dad who go through all hardship themselves to give you the best? Have anyone of you said thank you and i love you to them recently?
As a sister, i think i have a lot to learn. I won't say i failed, but i think i am too over protective of her, often worrying about her, over worried. I love my sister. Would give her extra allowance if i can, nagging at her, hoping she can be a better person, supporting her in wadeva that is her dream- basketballer. She's a nice sister too. When we go out together, she will protect me, letting me take the inner seat, she'll let me alight first, so that no one would take advantage of me, covering up for me, accompanying me.
As friend, i really think i am not a superb friend who can be there by your side 24/7, but trust me, if you, whom i considered as friend, needs my help, i promise, if u call me, hp not answered call my house, i will be there. I promise. If you need someone to be there and its within my mean to be there physically, i will be there. Sometimes, its like i may seem not a superb friend, because i don't have a lot of time to go out with you, talk to you, that doesn't mean i forgotten you. I remember everyone of you whom i considered my pals. especially to the handful of besties and BFF, its my promise that you will always have my care and concern.
Its always easy to make friends but hard to keep them. I've found you girls, would i be given the honour? to always be friends of you girls?
As a girlfriend to you my dearest boy, i will continue to learn to be the best that i could. You've given me the world while i robbed you of your own world. I know you love me the best. Sometimes, i really wish i could just hug you forever, just having the ability to hold you, to let you know, i am appreciative of everything you have done and given me.
You gave your time, your love, your care, everything. Whatever yours, became mine too. Thats what you always tell me.
How could someone so sweet be mine, i often wonder. Will this love take for a change, i worry.
Can we always stay happily forever? Can all the unhappiness and troubles go far far away?
People often fail not because they are not good enough, but because they THINK they are not good enough. Maybe if i start believing that i can do it, that i could be successful, i would work towards it.
By not saying it , it does not imply its forgotten, but because some things, for some words, need not be spoken. They are expressed through actions and sometimes, are meant to be kept in the heart.
It does not really take a fantastic speaker to say the sweetest words
neither does it take a writer to write the most beautiful and touching story.
A simple phrase of i love you said from the one you wanna hear it from would be the sweetest and it would be you and the people you cherish that makes up the most beautiful story in the whole world.
